


we aren’t as straight as we think we are

by rikotan



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, late realisation, ohime-dakko, princess treatment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 00:59:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3999877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rikotan/pseuds/rikotan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>of unrequited love and late realisations</p>
            </blockquote>





	we aren’t as straight as we think we are

**Author's Note:**

> this is a longer version of my [tweetfic](http://tl.gd/n_1smblq4). and by longer version, it means a full-blown fic

It wasn’t like he is into guys. Yamada knows he isn’t stereotypically straight  _(then again, he grew up in Johnny’s and straight was probably the furthest thing everyone is in the company)._ He wasn’t gay, he doesn’t check out guys all the time. He appreciates boobs, butts, and legs. If he was asked if he wants to hold or wants to be held, Yamada would answer he wants to hold. It was politically correct, and not that far away from the fact.

It was politically correct, but there was an exception. The thought of being held by none other than Nakajima Yuto plague his mind. Maybe it was the legs that looks really good in jeans. Or that ass. It led Yamada to constantly question his sexuality. The thought of those strong arms, trained by playing the drums, wrapping around him as they cuddle. Those lips pressing soft kisses onto his skin. Rough finger tips, due to playing the guitar, gliding across his chest.

“Ah, how doomed am I?” Curling up on himself, he aimed the waddle of tissue into the bin.

 

* * *

 

“You look horrible.” Chinen casually commented at his eye bags. He couldn’t say anything, but to smile weakly in return. “I’ve seen better days, yes.” Pulling a pillow, Yamada covered his face and curled in more. Chinen doesn’t need a host in his house, it was unofficially Chinen’s anyway  _(“Your things are mine, and my things are mine,” Chinen once said as he took Yamada’s wallet)_. He could feel his bed sinking from Chinen’s weight, but he wasn’t moving.

“This is something I usually don’t do but,” he can feel the younger boy’s hand stroking his hair, something so foreign yet soothing, “Do you want to talk about it?”

“You know what’s happening, Chii.”

“Better for you to tell me,”

Sighing, Yamada peeked out from behind the pillow, “The pain of an unrequited love for someone who probably hates my guts for the past few years.” Raising an eyebrow, Chinen smirked, “I appreciate your feelings, but I definitely don’t hate you.” A pillow immediately connected to his face, and Chinen was still smiling when it dropped onto his lap. Yamada was frowning, ears red.

“You know very well what I’m talking about, Chii.”

“Of course it is Yuto. It has always been Yutti.”

Silence feel in between them, before Chinen spoke up again. “Both of you should definitely talk.”

“Tell me that again when he doesn’t casually flirts with me as a friend, but when there is a possibility that he is attracted to someone as unattractive as me, and a guy to boot.”

“You are seriously saying that?” Yamada nodded. Chinen had literally tried to choke Yamada with the pillow, “You, who is the most popular idol right now, is unattractive? Apologise to all your fans right now.”

“That is an act.” It was muffled and Yamada tried to kick Chinen off the bed.

“Fair enough,” he released the pillow before sitting on the floor. “But you should still talk to him. Maybe it’ll all be different.”

 

* * *

 

“Yuto, you shouldn’t be sleeping here.” He shook the younger man. Yuto just continued sleeping on the couch, not moving. How long has it been since he realised his unrequited love for this man? Chuckling a little, Yamada remembers his angst-filled high school days. He pushed Yuto’s bangs to the side, “You’re going to catch a cold sleeping here.”

Sighing at how Yuto isn’t budging, Yamada bent down and scooped the taller man into his arms, carrying him bridal style. “So much for being held,” he whispered under his breath as he tried to maneuver to his room with an overgrown human being  _(he swears Nakajima Yuto is literally still growing even after their twenties)_.

He had almost drop Yuto, but he managed to make it to his room and place Yuto onto the futon that they have laid out before. Looking at his calm face, Yamada couldn’t help but smile.

Things are a lot more different from before. Yamada tried to push his affections for Yuto out of his mind, opting to live for the present as he starts to casually flirts back  _(friendly-style)_. There were only a few times where his mind would drift back. When he was all alone, and times like now. Kneeling on the floor, Yamada slowly leaned down and placed a kiss softly on Yuto’s forehead.

“I’ll probably be stuck in this for life.” Yamada whispered. “Then again, it might always have been like this."

 

* * *

 

"Yama-chan,” Yuto had bodily lie on him, an attempt to wake him up. “Yutti, it’s too early.” It came out as a mumble, as Yamada tried to turn to the side  _(which totally didn’t happen because Yuto was ON him)_.

It was silent for a moment before Yuto kissed yamada’s cheek sloppily. “Good morning kiss! We shouldn’t waste a nice day away." 

“Nakajima Yuto! What are you doing!?” Yamada had pushed Yuto’s face away while laughing. He was still under Yuto, unable to move an inch  _(he had recently found out that the younger man’s physical strength powered up after the variety of sports he did for dramas, through jumparty)_. Yuto was looking at him with a thoughtful look, and Yamada could feel his face heat up  _(he had a mental mantra of ‘please don’t blush’ going on)_. 

“Have you ever thought about kissing a guy before, Yama-chan?” Yamada could only blink at Yuto’s question. What made him ask this? It can’t be that he  _knows_ , right? Lifting his hand, Yamada ruffled Yuto’s bed head while laughing, “Are you still half asleep?”

“Have you, Yama-chan?”

Frowning a little, Yamada pulled on Yuto’s cheeks. “Are you asking if I’m straight? Why are we talking about sexuality here?” Yuto had pouted, or attempted to pout with his cheeks still stretched. When Yamada released his cheeks, Yuto had buried his head in Yamada’s shoulder, lips almost grazing his neck. Yamada had to bite down a full body shiver, as he force himself not to remember about the things his mind conjures up at times when he desperately needed release. “This is weird,” he could feel Yuto breathing down his neck, and he stiffened a little. “There are times where I want to kiss you, Yama-chan. Not like friendly kisses,” Yuto had paused, as if trying to find words, and Yamada didn’t move.

“I want to pin you down and kiss you. With tongues.” And as if like an afterthought, Yuto continued, “And maybe a lot more touches too.”

Both of them didn’t move. Yamada didn’t think he was hearing things correctly. Yuto didn’t know if he was going to get slugged  _(or if Yamada’s disgusted about what he had just said)_. 

“Then you should do it. You’ve got step one done.” It only came out as a whisper. Lifting his head, Yuto looked at how Yamada’s face was flushed red and tilted to the side, refusing to look at him.

“Yama-chan?”

“I might not be as straight as you think i am.” He was biting his lips, as he sneaked a peek from the side of his eyes at Yuto. He had tentatively leaned in, sucking at the bottom of Yamada’s lip so that he would stop biting it. Their lips meet again, this time Yamada nervously glided his tongue softly across Yuto’s lip, but quickly pulled back. 

Their kiss was slow, as if trying to test waters. As if trying to see if this was real, and not a dream. The kiss grew stronger, firmer, filled with more confidence, passion, needs, and wants. Tongues clashed, and teeth slowly grazed the other’s lips, teasingly nibbling and sucking. 

Slowly pulling apart, Yuto rested his forehead on Yamada’s as both of them panted softly. “Since when?” the question escaped Yuto’s lips in a mere whisper, and Yamada closed his eyes.

“High school? When you were friendly-flirting with everyone which includes me.”

“That long?”

“Probably longer for all I know. Doesn’t mean that I’m gay.”

“Gay for me then.” Yuto had a smirk playing on his lips, and Yamada couldn’t help but slap him on his head. “Fair enough. Now we are awake, what is it about not wasting a beautiful day away?” 

“That was before we know that we aren’t as straight as we think we are.”

“It is still a nice day and we should be up for breakfast.” Yamada had pushed Yuto up lightly. He was pulling his blanket away, and before he stood up, he placed a kiss on Yuto’s forehead. “And after that we can plan our itinerary of the day together.”

“I like it when you kiss me on the forehead, Yama-chan. And carrying me bridal style.” Yamada had turned around in shock, face flushed in embarrassment.

“YOU WERE AWAKE?”

“I was getting princess treatment! Of course I didn’t want to miss anything.” A pillow collided with Yuto’s head as he left out an ‘omf’.

“I’m leaving you to sleep on the couch the next time you do that.”

**Author's Note:**

> a/n: never leave me alone in the car, to my own devices because i think of weird things and then hurt myself in the process (feelings-wise). in other words, that is the reason why the tweetfic has angsty vibes, and the rest were squeezed out to be fluff while i watched kaiji with my family and trying to survive the scorching heat of south east asia. 
> 
> that and literally chanting "nakajima yuto if you don't pin yamada down and kiss him right now, i will do it myself" while writing.


End file.
